20 Mar Book Review: The Nanny Diaries by Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus

There is a certain kind of novel that perfectly captures a particular world while also making it feel completely universal. The Nanny Diaries does exactly that. It is both a sharp satire of the lives of Manhattan’s ultra-rich and a deeply personal story about a young woman caught between duty, morality, and the impossible expectations of the people who employ her. Written by two former nannies, the novel peels back the polished exterior of privilege to reveal the dysfunction, loneliness, and emotional neglect hidden beneath.

What’s it about?

The novel follows Nan, a college student in New York City who, like so many young women, takes a job as a nanny to pay her bills. At first, it seems like a simple enough gig—she’ll be looking after a sweet four-year-old boy named Grayer X while his parents, Mr. and Mrs. X, go about their busy, glamorous lives. But Nan quickly learns that working for the X family is nothing like babysitting for normal parents.

Mrs. X is an elegant, high-maintenance socialite who, despite not having a job, spends almost no time actually raising her son. Instead, she devotes her days to shopping, charity events, and maintaining an illusion of perfection for her wealthy peers. She is controlling, unpredictable, and passive-aggressive, constantly changing Nan’s hours, responsibilities, and expectations without notice. Nan is expected to be available at all times, drop everything at a moment’s notice, and somehow anticipate Mrs. X’s needs before they even arise.

Mr. X is an overworked, emotionally detached businessman who barely acknowledges his family. He is rarely home, and when he is, he avoids both his wife and his son as much as possible. Nan quickly realizes that his indifference to Grayer is not just emotional distance—it is outright neglect.

Despite the dysfunction in the X household, Nan forms a deep attachment to Grayer. He is lonely, confused, and desperate for affection. His parents may barely notice him, but Nan does. She takes him to the park, helps him navigate his rigid schedule of playdates and tutors, and becomes his one source of stability. But the more she bonds with him, the harder it is to ignore the heartbreaking reality—no matter how much she cares for him, she is still just the help, and she can be dismissed at any time.

As the novel progresses, Nan’s life becomes increasingly entangled with the X family’s problems. She is expected to act as a stand-in mother while remaining invisible. She has to listen to Mrs. X complain about her husband’s affairs, pretend not to notice when Mr. X flirts with other women, and navigate the social politics of the ultra-rich, all while keeping up with her own college coursework and attempting to have a personal life.

Things come to a breaking point when Mrs. X’s demands become unbearable. Nan is constantly undermined, overworked, and gaslighted into believing she is lucky to even have this job. When she finally reaches her limit, she does what so many nannies before her have wanted to do—she calls out the Xs on their behavior and walks away, knowing that no matter how much she loves Grayer, she cannot save him from the people who are supposed to care for him the most.

What This Chick Thinks

A brutally honest portrayal of privilege and power dynamics

What makes The Nanny Diaries stand out is how well it captures the impossible expectations placed on domestic workers, particularly those who care for children in wealthy families. Nan is not just expected to be a nanny—she is expected to be a therapist, a personal assistant, a housekeeper, and an emotional punching bag, all while remaining completely invisible. The Xs treat her as disposable, even though she is the only one truly raising their son.

Grayer is the heart of the novel

While the book is often darkly funny, the real emotional core is the relationship between Nan and Grayer. He is just a child, caught in the middle of a world he doesn’t understand. His parents are too distracted with their own lives to provide him with love, structure, or stability, and it is heartbreaking to see how much he craves attention. Nan does everything she can for him, but the novel makes it painfully clear that there is only so much she can do.

A satirical but painfully real take on the rich

The novel does an incredible job of making the X family’s dysfunction feel real. While some moments are exaggerated for comedic effect, the entitlement, the emotional neglect, and the transactional nature of their relationships are all grounded in reality. The authors, both former nannies themselves, pull from firsthand experiences to paint a picture that feels both absurd and depressingly believable.

Nan’s journey is both hilarious and infuriating

Nan is a great narrator—sharp, self-aware, and armed with a biting sense of humor. Her inner monologue throughout the book makes even the most frustrating moments enjoyable to read. However, as funny as the book can be, it is also deeply frustrating. Watching Nan be manipulated, gaslit, and constantly undervalued makes you want to scream at the injustice of it all. The novel perfectly captures what it is like to be trapped in a job where the rules keep changing and you are never truly appreciated.

Final Thoughts

The Nanny Diaries is an eye-opening, darkly funny, and ultimately heartbreaking look at the lives of the ultra-wealthy and the people who work for them. It is both an exposé of privilege and a deeply personal story about a young woman trying to do the right thing in a system that is stacked against her. If you have ever worked in childcare, customer service, or any job where you were expected to be everything to everyone while remaining invisible, this book will hit home.

It is an entertaining read, but it also carries a lot of emotional weight. It makes you think about the people who do the thankless jobs that keep the world running, and how often their sacrifices go unnoticed. Most of all, it reminds you that while money can buy almost anything, it cannot buy love, attention, or real human connection.

Rating: 8.5/10

Try it if you like

• I Don’t Know How She Does It by Allison Pearson – Another sharp and funny look at the impossible expectations placed on working women.
• The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger – A novel about a young woman working under a demanding, impossible boss in a world of extreme privilege.
• Where’d You Go, Bernadette by Maria Semple – A satirical and insightful novel about motherhood, privilege, and the ways people lose themselves trying to meet expectations.