18 Mar Book Review: Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng

Every family has secrets, but in Everything I Never Told You, those secrets unravel with devastating consequences. This haunting, beautifully written novel explores the silent pressures, hidden fears, and unspoken dreams that shape a family’s life. It’s a story about identity, belonging, and the consequences of unmet expectations, told with emotional depth and heart-wrenching honesty. If you’re looking for a book that stays with you long after the final page, this one is an absolute must-read.

What’s it about?

Everything I Never Told You opens with a devastating revelation: Lydia Lee is dead, but no one in her family knows it yet. Set in 1970s Ohio, the novel follows the Lee family—a Chinese-American family struggling to navigate life in a predominantly white, conservative community. The book begins with a mystery but quickly becomes an exploration of family dynamics, cultural identity, and the burdens of parental expectations.

Lydia is the favorite child of James and Marilyn Lee, and her parents’ ambitions and dreams rest heavily on her shoulders. James Lee is a first-generation Chinese-American professor of American history, desperate to fit in and be accepted by a society that sees him as an outsider. Having grown up isolated and bullied because of his ethnicity, James yearns for his children to be popular, confident, and well-liked—all the things he never was.

Marilyn Lee, on the other hand, has different dreams for Lydia. Raised by a single mother who believed that a woman’s purpose was to marry well and be a good housewife, Marilyn rebelled by pursuing a career in science. She was brilliant and determined, one of the few women in her field, but she gave it all up to marry James and raise their three children—Nath, Lydia, and Hannah. Her unfulfilled ambitions are channeled into Lydia, whom she encourages to excel academically, particularly in science and mathematics.

From a young age, Lydia learns to be obedient and compliant, hiding her true thoughts and feelings to fulfill her parents’ expectations. She becomes the perfect daughter, excelling in her studies and pretending to be happy, even as she feels the crushing weight of her parents’ hopes and dreams. She lies to her parents to protect them from disappointment, creating an illusion of success while struggling with feelings of isolation, anxiety, and fear of failure.

Meanwhile, Nath, Lydia’s older brother, feels invisible and resentful, constantly overshadowed by his sister’s achievements. His relationship with Lydia is complex—he loves her and wants to protect her, but he also resents her for being the favored child. Nath is passionate about astronomy and dreams of escaping his family’s stifling expectations by going to Harvard, but his parents barely notice his accomplishments, too focused on Lydia to see his worth.

Hannah, the youngest child, is quiet and observant, often overlooked and ignored by her family. She watches everything unfold from the background, seeing the cracks in her family’s facade but feeling powerless to intervene. Her presence is subtle but powerful, serving as the silent witness to the family’s unraveling.

The novel alternates between past and present, revealing the events that led up to Lydia’s death. As the Lee family grapples with their grief, they’re forced to confront long-buried secrets and painful truths about themselves and each other. Each family member’s perspective is explored in depth, creating a rich tapestry of emotions and experiences.

Through flashbacks, we learn about James and Marilyn’s marriage and the cultural tensions that shaped their relationship. Marilyn’s mother disapproved of her marriage to James, viewing him as a foreigner who could never provide Marilyn with the life she deserved. This disapproval created a rift between Marilyn and her mother, making her even more determined to prove herself as an independent, successful woman.

Marilyn’s frustration over her lost career resurfaces after Lydia’s birth. She decides to return to school and pursue her dream of becoming a doctor, but when she discovers she’s pregnant with Nath, she’s forced to abandon her ambitions once again. This unfulfilled desire is transferred to Lydia, whom she molds into the student she never got to be. Marilyn pushes Lydia to excel academically, convincing herself that she’s giving Lydia the opportunities she missed out on.

But Lydia is crumbling under the pressure. She struggles to keep up with her studies, terrified of disappointing her mother. She pretends to be enthusiastic about science and math, but in reality, she’s drowning. Her friendship with Jack, a neighborhood boy who sees through her facade, becomes her only escape. But even that relationship is complicated by rumors and misunderstandings.

Nath watches Lydia’s struggles with growing resentment. He sees how their parents’ expectations are suffocating her, but he feels powerless to help. When he gets accepted to Harvard, he’s excited to escape his family’s toxic dynamic, but he’s also consumed with guilt for leaving Lydia behind. His departure is the final blow for Lydia, who feels abandoned and betrayed by the one person who truly understood her.

On the night of her death, Lydia decides to confront her fears. Desperate to break free from her parents’ expectations and prove that she’s more than the perfect daughter they believe her to be, she goes to the local lake, a place Nath always dreamed of exploring. She wants to be brave, to take control of her life for the first time. But her attempt to swim across the lake ends in tragedy.

After Lydia’s body is found, the Lee family is shattered. James blames himself for not protecting her from the prejudice and isolation he faced as a child. Marilyn is consumed with guilt, realizing that her ambitions for Lydia were driven by her own regrets. Nath becomes obsessed with Jack, convinced that he played a role in Lydia’s death.

In the end, the family is forced to confront the truth about Lydia’s life and death. They realize that Lydia was never the perfect daughter they imagined, but a complex, struggling teenager who felt trapped by their expectations. Through their grief, they begin to understand each other and rebuild their broken bonds.

What This Chick Thinks

A beautifully written, emotionally devastating story

Everything I Never Told You is heart-wrenching and beautifully written. Celeste Ng captures the complexities of family dynamics with unflinching honesty, revealing the silent pressures and hidden fears that shape our lives. The prose is lyrical and evocative, creating a haunting atmosphere that lingers long after the last page.

Complex characters that feel painfully real

The characters in this novel are so nuanced and human. They’re flawed, complicated, and deeply relatable. Marilyn’s unfulfilled ambitions, James’s desire for acceptance, Nath’s resentment, and Lydia’s silent suffering are all heartbreakingly real. Ng explores their motivations and emotions with empathy, never reducing them to stereotypes.

A powerful exploration of race, identity, and belonging

The novel’s exploration of cultural identity and racism is masterfully done. James’s struggle to fit in as a Chinese-American man, Marilyn’s frustration with societal expectations for women, and Lydia’s internalized pressure to be perfect all resonate deeply. It’s a powerful commentary on the complexities of identity and the impact of societal prejudice on individual lives.

Final Thoughts

Everything I Never Told You is a masterpiece of literary fiction. It’s a haunting, beautifully crafted story about family, identity, and the consequences of unmet expectations. It’s heartbreaking, thought-provoking, and emotionally resonant—a novel that stays with you long after you’ve finished reading.

Rating: 9.5/10

Try it if you like

• Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng – Another beautifully written exploration of family secrets, identity, and societal expectations.
• The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold – A haunting story about grief, memory, and the aftermath of loss.
• The Immortalists by Chloe Benjamin – A thought-provoking novel about family, destiny, and the choices that shape our lives.